Bittersweet: Wilma's personal journey and resilience

Wilma Derksen - author, fifties child, lemon yellow

 

Summer

July 13, 2010

“Would you meet with him?”

I don’t know.

Perhaps summer is not the best time to ponder this question.

This last weekend we spent two blissful, carefree summer evenings in our back yard gazebo, I am finally convinced that summer has arrived.

For dinner we had Cliff’s famous barbeque chicken roasted to perfection, a bit of potato salad, and fresh vegetables. We ended our meal with a cup of tea, a large bowl of fresh strawberries and blue berries topped with a touch of ice cream and a bit of chocolate on the side. Can there be anything more divine?

With the view of our garden in the background, the sound of our waterfall, the birds at the bird feeder, we chatted with our guests about their day. It was the perfect way to unwind after a busy week.

The best part was that we did not have to deal with mosquitoes. We have a new mosquito repellent that actually seems to work. Can you imagine a mellow Winnipeg summer evening devoid of mosquitoes?

As the evening shadows lengthened, we turned on the tiny white lights caught in the netting strung inside of our gazebo, and sat and talked till late -- almost midnight.

We usually like to choose a question to grapple with at some point in our evening conversation. One of the evenings we talked about suffering. The next evening we dared to tackle the biggest question of all. What is your biggest question in your life?  What is your answer to the question?

Cliff’s question was, “Why?” Mine was “Who am I?” These questions could have seen us through a few more evenings. Apparently the right question for the right evening is almost as important as having chocolate at the end of a meal.

But to enjoy my gazebo and to complete the three writing projects that I have on hand, plus organize the roundtable discussion at the end of the summer, is going to be impossible. I really need to let something go. So I’m afraid I am going to take a break from blogging this summer.

It’s not as if my days are becoming less interesting. If anything they are becoming even more interesting as we plan the discussion for the end of the summer. However it does feel that as I’m entering other people’s stories more, I am finding it more difficult to know what I can say and what is confidential.

I know I will miss blogging the day’s events. I was delighted today when my friend who was my traveling companion yesterday wrote me her response to my blog about my dirty feet. “You describe it very well...still laughing.”

The day and the dog was truly a unique moment in time. When I record it in words, it becomes another moment for us to enjoy again.

But writing demands intentionality, accuracy and a creativity that I know I can’t sustain this summer with everything else that is going on.

Since we are also redesigning the website, I thought this time might be the perfect time for me to take a summer break.

I will blog again September 7, after the Labor Day weekend. I will miss you.

Do have a wonderful summer. Do come back....

Summer is the time when one sheds one's tensions with one's clothes, and the right kind of day is jeweled balm for the battered spirit. A few of those days and you can become drunk with the belief that all's right with the world.

Ada Louise Huxtable